Column: My ​top tips to start training your mind to be more positive

​Do you talk yourself into being depressed or do you get depressed and then negative self-talk is the only way? Well it doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that you can change how you talk to yourself. So what do we do to fix it?

We change our self-talk. We train our minds to be more positive. It is called “learned optimism” in Positive Psychology. So if you are ever thinking “I can’t help this” or “this is happening TO me”, just remember that you are doing it to yourself and you can change that.

Here’s how. Positive Affirmations. Hold on…. Can it be so simple? Just to repeat a phrase or two and I’ll be cured. If you are not familiar with Positive Affirmations – it is where you repeat, in your head or out loud, a simple phrase or sentence. Like learning a new language. A language of positivity.

When I first encountered Positive Affirmations – I dismissed the idea. Silly and way too easy. But the idea kept coming back to me, kept being suggested to me. So I listened to the world, took the hint and started using them. The positive results have been profound.

I’m going to share with you the two affirmations that have had the most profound effect on me. They have changed my self-talk. For the better.

I don’t want you just to read them and carry on. I want you to pause. I want you to look off into middle distance and I want you to repeat my positive affirmation. Pause and think.

My first affirmation is this – LET IT BE. There I said it now….. I’ll wait till you come back to read on. Yes LET IT BE has changed my life. When I took it on board, I realised how much I don’t just LET IT BE.

I was constantly correcting, guiding, asking, telling, changing, controlling. I was searching for perfectionism. Well now I don’t do it anymore. I have totally taken on LET IT BE. And you know what; my world is calmer, full of peace. My world, sat right there in front of me, is exactly what I want, what I need… all I have to do is LET IT BE.

My second affirmation is this – I AM ENOUGH. What?! NO! What about all the diets, the exercise plans, and the things on every commercial - they brain wash me into believing I won’t be complete until I own that car. Mostly it is the feeling of inadequacy that is affected by this affirmation. I AM

ENOUGH.

So I’ve spent ages doing Positive Affirmations and I am saving you time. I am giving you the two that have helped me the most. The goal is to have positive self-talk. It helps with ALL aspects of your life. Your relationships, your stress, your relationship with stress.

So go on now. Stare off into space, repeat these affirmations and start training your mind to be more positive. You really can train your brain and talk yourself out of depression.